


The Midnight Drabbles of McKinley High

by KnightsofEclipse



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, a guess the pov fic, should I post the answer key too?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 04:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12598376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightsofEclipse/pseuds/KnightsofEclipse
Summary: In-character musings of various characters, most of whom are/were members of New Directions. DISCONTINUED





	1. Dance of Death

I said I was over her. I don’t know why I would lie like that. I love her far more than I should. I shouldn’t love her at all. She’s married, and happy, but I cannot bring myself to stop loving her. Maybe it’s the way she looks at me with those huge innocent eyes, or maybe the way she steps out of her comfort zone for me and only me. Or maybe it’s something that can’t be replicated. Maybe it’s something that’s not physical. The problem is; the more I love her, the more I’m torn apart. Perhaps it’s because I might also love someone else…No I could never love her! She’s a horrible, terrible person, a bully, and just plain mean. But then why am I always thinking about her? My thoughts are conflicted; my delicate doe and my fierce tigress. No! I refuse to believe either of them will ever truly be mine. Who am I kidding? I’ve always failed with love. But now here I am again, trapped in love’s dance of death once more.


	2. All That She Wants

Is it wrong to stare at another girl’s chest for any length of time? I mean, it’s not like I like her or anything, it’s just, I don’t know, interesting. I mean, she’s a total dog but at the same time I catch myself thinking about what it would be like having her tied to the bed in my blond buffoon’s place…there I go again! I’ve just convinced the glee club that I’m straight, leaving one blond buffoon for another. Admittedly, I miss her. But he’ll do, for now. I want something soft beneath me, something with comforting arms and a soft chest…Is is wrong that I will settle for her. She’s self center, more so than me, and she’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants. Maybe we aren’t so different; maybe I should give her more credit. Maybe I should be more like her, ruthless with what I want. If I truly want her, I will have her!


	3. Only Her

I am alone. I’ve always know this. I’ve never had anyone to turn to with my problems. I was a lonely child. I got through it. I have two people who love me and tons of friends who will stand by me no matter what. I had a boyfriend…I still say he’s mine and I can see everyone else has respected that feeling. Even my bitter rival for his attention. She and I are so alike yet so different. She’s the most popular girl in school and I’m the bottom of the social food change. But despite how much we both want him I don’t think I hate her. We are a family in glee club and if I had to pick anyone to really be part of my family I would choose her. And you know what? I’ve given up men for the time being. So just because I have a clingy hold on him doesn’t mean I should keep her from being happy. After all she’s had it rough in the past year, doesn’t she deserve to be happy, at least for a little while? I know she would do the same if she was in my position, so why shouldn’t I do that for her? There, I’ve decided that I will give up my claim on him! For her, but only her.


	4. In Her Footsteps

I miss her. I know I shouldn’t but still I do. With her it was real, now, I don’t know, everything’s fake. I know she can be annoying and selfish but those are the things I think I miss most. It was her way of taking center stage and making everyone look at her; her way of arguing a point that only made sense to her. Everyone always said mean things about her but I think it’s either from misunderstanding or jealousy. She’s flighty though. The other guys she’s dated were all different, as were their love; my best friend was her boyfriend once and I honestly believe he might have or still might love her, then there was him. He was completely wrong for her, and for the world. I admit I was jealous, seeing her on his arm instead of mine. But I was also afraid for her, for her safety, for her sanity, for her life. But I ruined it all, I went and kissed another girl and everyone knows. She’s a vile temptress…I think. And she was my first girlfriend and my best friend went and got her pregnant. I thought I did, it hurt to kind out it was him and not me. I would never ruin a girl’s life like that. Which is why I wanted to start anew, with someone who was just like me; insecure and unsure about whom she is going to be with a vague idea of where she’s going. I follow her, hoping to be graced by the chance to walk in her footsteps.


	5. Just You Wait

How did this happen? It was never supposed to get this far. I love him, and I never wanted destroy what we had, but it looks like love destroyed everything I ever wanted. I admit what I did was a bit drastic and maybe somewhat rash or desperate. But I only did it for him. All I ever did I did for him. I gave up everything for him. And that thing he loves so much. I understand why so many want to destroy it, I am among the ranks. I will do all I can to get him back and destroy all his potential hopes and dreams, and replace them with his desire to be with and please me. I will have him back. He will be begging be to forgive him, just you wait.


	6. Like in the Legends

I never meant to hurt her. It hurt me to see tears ruin her lovely face. I didn’t mean it, really. It just came out because I was angry, not at her but with myself. I can’t believe myself. I shouldn’t have taken my rage out on her. She can’t understand the difference between being mad and being mad at some one. And because of this confusion I’ve lost my entire world. I admit I didn’t like the way she was talking, the way she talked so fondly of someone else. I just wanted her to be mine, but the witch of McKinley stood in my way. I can’t stand to think of what she has my precious baby faced angel doing but I will win her heart in the end. I just need to prove I love her most, prove to her that I didn’t mean anything I said and that I was falling apart from the memory of hurting her. I’m just afraid that my love may hurt her more, but I won’t just stand by and let her be used, let her mind be manipulated to the will of someone else. I will set my princess free, like in the legends.


	7. Pull the Trigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the sentences don't flow very well in this one. I can't figure out what past me was trying to say, but I cleaned it up as best as I could so it at least makes some sense.

Why did I let it go so far? I don’t know if I love him or if I was just jealous that he had feelings for someone else. But now it’s over. I don’t know what did it, or if it was just how people looked at us. I was making things uncomfortable, not just for him but for everyone. I’m selfish, I’ll admit that. I just want someone who wants me; that I’m important enough for someone to want to keep me around. But I’m flighty. I took the compliment of any man who would offer them. All because I wanted to feel important and special. Why am I such a fool? My desire got the better of me and I ruined every last shred of hope I had of being with him. No kidding love hurts. But it definitely looks like I was the one to pull the trigger.


	8. Too Late

Sometimes I wonder why the earth is round. Wouldn’t it be better if it was flat and if you went far enough you’d just fall off? I want to fall off the world. I walked away and now I don’t know why. I could have helped her. I could have made everything right. But I chose to walk away and pretend none of this ever happened. That was wrong. But there’s no getting her back now, my walking away pushed her into his arms. I’m so stupid to think running would solve anything. I hurt her and now it’s too late.


	9. Get Help!

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right? Well then what do you do when life gives you the most amazing girl in the world? I used to think the answer was make her mine, but now I’m not so sure. Since the moment I met her, she’s been cold to me. I can’t stand not being able to know what’s going through her head. The worst part is I’m pretty, well, uncontrollable and she hasn’t even kissed me yet. I’m lost on how to work it out. I want her. Oh, Lordy, do I want her. But everything I do, or say, seems to come out wrong. When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. When life gives you girls, get help!


	10. Change the World

Just because I look a certain way doesn’t mean everything I do has to reflect that. I wish everyone would look past the colour of everyone else’s skin and really get to know the person inside. It’s far worse thinking that people with the same skin could or religion band together and do things the same way. Maybe I don’t want to do something related to my skin colour, maybe I just want to hang with my friends or go on a normal date for once. I hate that the world is dictated by the colour of my skin. One day it will be different though. One day I’ll change the world.


	11. Who Needs Enemies?

My life sucks. It’s just a fact so don’t try and say that things could be worse because they can’t. Everything I had has been taken away. I had it all; a great family, friends who didn’t go sticking their noses in places they didn’t belong, a beautiful girlfriend. It’s gone now. She hates me for the one moment I doubted her. Why? I was right but why did I have to look at her like she’d ruined everything? The worst part is I lost her to the person I took everything from. I guess it was just divine justice. But she doesn’t have to hate me for my mistakes. I loved her despite hers and I expected the same. But everyone made fun of me the moment I came and they will until the moment I leave. Glee club is supposed to be the place where I feel safe and belong, well, with friends like this who needs enemies?


	12. The Right One

The world hates me. They’re all out to get me. Every last one of them. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what they think. I don’t care how they feel. I am not like them, I never was, and I never will be. Just you wait and see, I might not look like I can make something of my life, but I can. And that something will be a whole lot greater than some dumb trophy at nationals, which they will never win. Without me, they’re done for, and I will never sink so low as to help them again. I’ve learned from past mistakes, that I deserve so much more than what they had to offer. And I have so much more to offer without them. They were just holding me down, suppressing who I really was. I won’t let anyone do that to me again. I’m done with them. It’s time for me to be my own person. Someone strong, who doesn’t need anyone to make themselves feel big. I can do it on my own, I don’t need the help of anyone. Because they were never there when I needed them most. I was unimportant to them then, and I’m unimportant to them now. So I’ll just move on, there’s tons of fish in the water. I just need to catch the right one.


	13. More Than Before

I love him; at least I think I do. I don’t really know, what I say and what I feel are totally different things. But then, I guess that’s what makes it love, right? It all makes sense now, love grew from my hate. Or maybe my hate spawned from my love. Either way, I don’t know what to do. Imagine; me, not knowing what to do. It’s preposterous! I don’t understand why he makes me feel like this; warm, safe, loved. What I should be feeling is; cold, disgust, and hatred. And those are the feeling I show, I could never let anyone know how I really feel. I would be ruined if anyone, especially if he, knew about my secret obsession. I just want to be around him all the time and I can’t. And now that little Bambi rip-off is in my way even more than before. If she gets in my way again; I will destroy her.


	14. Without the Consequences

I don’t want to do this to her, but if I don’t then who is going to save her from herself. This is not her. It was me once, and I won’t let it be her. I gave up on everything, I lost myself, and I can’t let her do the same. But the first thing she needs to learn is how to forgive herself. She blames herself for everything that has happened but she takes it out on everyone else. She doesn’t know how to deal with the stress and she doesn’t know how to see herself. I guess I just want to protect her and prove to her that she can trust someone other than herself, without facing the consequences.


	15. Reflecting Zeros

Reflections. They’re funny things. People always tell you everything you do reflects who you are. But that’s a hard concept to grasp. Being told that everything you do defines who you are, no matter how small. That’s a lot of weight on your shoulders. It means that everything that has happened, everything you don’t like about yourself and wish to change, and everything people say about you is part of who you are and you have no control over it. And everyone says that truth is in the eye of the beholder, well I think it’s more who you are that’s in the eye of the beholder because everyone sees us differently. To some we look like outcasts, others we’re friends, or maybe enemies, or even a big family. The point is we are defined not by what we see in our reflections but by everything we do that reflects who we are. But it doesn’t matter much, when you look at a zero in the mirror; it’s still a zero.


	16. What Hurts the Most

We all know what it’s like not to fit it, we’ve all been there, and it hurts. People will call you names, or break your bones with sticks and stones. But they hurt you most by hurting your friends. I don’t know where I’d be without my friends. Probably some fashionably challenged hell-hole in the middle of nowhere. But it hurts even more when it’s your friends hurting you. Something will just come out wrong, or it’s a fatal mistake someone can’t take back. And it’s worse yet when you know they don’t mean it but they do it anyway. When someone close to you says something unforgivable, calls you a fag, stupid, or an idiot will you forgive them because they’re a friend? Or will it damage your trust in them, break your heart, or ruin your friendship? But what hurts the most is knowing that their hurting you, is hurting themselves more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not know there was a song that shared a title with this chapter at the time it was written.


	17. Anymore of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never before seen chapter. I don't know how it didn't get posted before.

There’s a first time for everything, I just don’t know if I’ll be ready when mine comes knocking. I shouldn’t be afraid; people have done it tons of times before. Yes, I’m looking at the she-devil and the baby daddy and a whole bunch of my friends. I just don’t know what to expect. But if I go on any longer without; people will start to worry. I love him, _no one_ can say I don’t, but we all say a lot of things, half of which we don’t mean. I know I’ve said my share. But I kind of wonder if being with him is worth it. It has cost me things I wish I could get back, but I know no matter how hard I try things will never be back how they used to be. And I just don’t know if I’m ready to give up anymore of me.


End file.
